"The Hot New Solution has been designed from the ground up as an integrated, component-oriented suite. With it, organizations reap the benefits of automating complex business processes, managing partners, customers and internal groups, and providing 24x7 access to critical information to those who directly benefit from a self-service web application. Your processes are automated in ways that allow your customers to directly participate."
Why it Happens
We've all seen it. The introduction paragraph on a high-tech company's web site that you can read twenty times and still not understand what it means. How does it happen in a company filled with very smart people?
Sometimes in the software business it is just easier to dance around what you offer, than to get executive consensus. Or, maybe it is a new space, and the terminology has not been defined. Sometimes it's because the product marketing team is so focused on positioning their products for analysts that they forget about customers. Often, bad writing happens because it is very hard to write clearly about complex solutions.
Strive for Clarity
Whatever the cause, being clear on the web is critically important. Your visitors will not take the time to decipher dense jargon, they simply go to another site.
Take the time to distill your company's value proposition to a paragraph that your mother could understand. Use terminology that is widely understood. Write it so the problem you solve and who you solve it for is clear. Finally, focus on benefits.
Doing this will make it easier for everyone in the company to communicate your value to the marketplace, it won't take you ten minutes to explain what you do (over and over again), and you will find that your web site traffic sticks around a bit longer.
One Last Babble Example
I can't help myself, here is another example. Product names have been changed to protect the innocent.
"HotScan has revolutionized its approach to Business Information Capture. The SMART suite of software products is designed to address organizations need for digital object processing in an Integrated Digital Environment. SMART represents a paradigm shift from the current monolithic digital imaging systems to a comprehensive Integrated Digital Environment. With SMART, the capture of digital objects is now information centric as opposed to media centric. Now users will be able to satisfy their processing requirements with an integrated system configured for their unique processing requirements."